So finally my CAT is done. Now the only thing I can do is wait for the 12^th of January and keep praying that at least on that day my stars (my planets and my grahas) are with me. The past few months of my life have been really testing my spirits and anxiety levels. The reason being that this phase is the most crucial period that every individual goes through.

Before placements started and before I got serious for CAT, things were very simple. Life was all about going to college, bunking (and sleeping) during lectures, going out with friends, and living the way I wanted. However the day, the mind understands responsibility, fears competition, realises that this is the end, some different kind of hormones start playing. It all started during my summer vacations. My CAT preparation had started almost a year back but the seriousness had still not crept in. My mocks started and then I realised where I actually stand. Someone who was aiming for the IIMs was scoring 90 percentile. Merely pathetic!! It was then I realised that I had to gear up. So chalked down a plan and got into its execution. Scores improved but then everyone else also had realised the same thing and as competition is the key factor, it was always relative scoring. We all improved from where we were say a few months back, but relatively stood at almost the same level.CAT prep was going when I suddenly (sudden is a hyperbole though) realised that I was in my final year and the placement season was about to commence. Now the only thing that I hoped at that point was to get placed before my CAT.

Campus started, big names like Morgan Stanley, CISCO, Texas Instruments, and Goldman were in the air. Everyone wanted to get placed in these so called biggies, but luck favours only a few. My stars were not in my favour, so had to come back home rejected after reaching the final rounds. It was during these crucial days that I realised how important luck is! Simultaneously my mock CATs were also showing me where I stand. Though my scores were improving, they lacked consistency. My percentiles varied from 85 to 99. Now the only thought that always bothered me was ‘what if i give one of my seldom bad performances on the D day (i.e.my CAT). This thought was always there at the back of my mind and nothing could be done about it. Gradually, my life started revolving around CAT and placements. Everything else had lost importance. It was only mocks, aptitude tests, and interviews. My mood started getting modulated by my mock cat scores. It was the first time in my life that I was not easily getting the things i wanted. God probably was showing me the tough path. Defeat was something that I had never tasted before. Finally even I had to join its queue. Initially, it was very frustrating but gradually I learnt a new aspect of my life. It was probably the first time I understood that u do not get everything u want. And when u don’t just believe that there is surely something better waiting for you.

I am still on the same path, but now looking at things with equanimity, waiting for that ‘better’ thing to come. It could be anything, my cat result, some campus placement or say some other MBA exam I appear for. I don’t know what is in store for me but would like to thank GOD to show me defeat and its importance early in my career. Because now I can say that I have seen the tougher side of life as well, and can now look at things from a broader view.